Random "Mean Girls" vs "Twilight" Quotes!!

I was this forum on IMDB about Mean Girl quotes being changed to Twilight. I thought it was hilarious!!! Hehe, here are some of my favourite!!

Alice: Well... I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense.

Bella: What do you mean?

Alice: It's like I can see things or something. My brain like tells me when something is going to happen.

Bella: Really? That's amazing.

Alice: Well... it tells me when it's happening.

Bella: Okay, you did not just say that.

Rosalie: What? He's a good kisser.

Bella: He's your brother.

Rosalie: Yeah, but he's my step-brother.

Bella: Right.

****************

Alice: Oh my god, where did you get that ankle-length khaki skirt?

Bella: It was my dead gran's from the '30s.

Alice: Vintage, so adorable.
Bella: Thanks!
Alice: That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.

Bella: I can't help that you're like obsessed with me!

Edward: Oh no you didn't

Alice: I want my blue prom dress back! I want my blue prom dress back!

Lauren: Bella Swan made out with a cold corpse!?

Bella: Oh my god! It was ONE time!

Bella: Hey!
Jessica: Why were you talking to Alice Cullen?
Bella: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started asking to go shopping with her.

Jessica: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Alice Cullen. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Alice was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I didn't go shopping with her to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Alice, I can't invite you, because I think you're soo pale" I mean I couldn't have a pale girl at my party. There were gonna be tanned guys ready to flirt. I mean, right? She was a SO PALE. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's a shopaholic

Rosalie: Bella, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.

*Charlie to Edward and Bella*

"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now take some rubbers."

Bella [looking at Edward]: ...Who's that?

Jessica: Edward Cullen... how do I begin to explain Edward Cullen?
Angela: Edward Cullen is flawless!

Mike: I heard his hair is insured for $10,000.

Lauren: I heard he does car commercials... IN JAPAN.

Eric: His favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Ben: One time he met John Stamos on a plane...

Angela: - And he told him he was handsome!

Mike: One time he punched me in the face, IT WAS AWESOME.

Esme: I'm kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.

Bella: My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.

Esme: Your grandmother and I have that in common.

Jacob [rapping]: The B's silent when I sneak through your door, and make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy; you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, OOHHH! JACOB B!

Bella: Wow. Your house is really nice.
Edward: I know, right?
Emmett: Make sure you check Esme's boob job. THEY'RE HARD AS ROCKS.

Jacob: [crying and reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school, I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

Edward: [shouting from back] HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!

Esme: [as Edward and Bella are making out] Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A CONDOM? Let me know! Oh God, love ya.

FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!